Everything Happens for a Reason

You know the saying "when it rains, it pours", well that perfectly describes my last two weeks. Now in no way am I complain, everything I have been given (so far) has definetively been a blessing not a curse. For starters I have officially written the conclusion to my book (insert big sigh here) and am feeling super stoked about the remaining photoshoots I have lined up in Utah, Colorado, NY and MA. In addition, I have steady work and contracts filled for the summer and pretty much through this October (not to brag but not many artists can say that!). Also a few days ago one of my awesome paddling buddies, Krista Miller asked me to be part of her Documentary project in the Grand Canyon May of 2016!!! (Yup feeling like a rockstar).
Yet, after all this why do I feel a bit overwhelmed? I mean shouldn't I be thanking God (or whoever is up there or around) to have all these opportunities? Instead I feel like all this stuff is happening at once and in some weird way I am missing out on the here and now. Granted it's a crazy thought because in the last two weeks I have felt more alive than ever as if a light bulb has gone off above my head and shown me that what I once thought was an unattainable future as a living, working artist is now right in the palm of my hands.
At the same time I feel as though I am booking my life so in advance that I can't catch my breath. What if something goes wrong or something else comes up and I don't want to miss out? Case in point I was suppose to shoot the Burton US Open this coming week at Vail resorts in Colorado however, due to scheduling issues, book editing deadlines and in all honest me needing a few days to just chill out, I am declining my media credential. I know in the back of my mind that I could do it all and at the same time I just keep thinking about my book and the true meaning behind me creating. In reality the hardest part is balancing commercialism with my love, fine art. So in the end it all comes down to making sacrifices one way or the other and truly looking at all the pros and cons of a situation. Yeah, it sucks not getting to shoot one of the largest snowboard events in the US ( I have however had the chance to shoot it 2006-2012 when Burton Hosted it in VT so it's not a total loss, but still)but my main focus right now is this book which represents the inner struggle I speak of at this moment and that is something that must have my full attention and been made.
So as I see it I just need to embrace the late nights, hours of editing, interesting dreams and lack of personal space (at the moment) and go with the flow. As my mom always told me, " everything happens for a reason. You just need to know when to step in and embrace something positive or let go." And today I choose to do both.