With less than four months until my book release, I am anything but calm. I am excited, stressed, tired, hyper, elated and in some cases even relieved. Everyday I wake up I keep telling myself "Jeanine, you got this. Just stay focused" and... and then my mind races in a million directions. I have to confess, self motivation and staying focused are two of the hardest things for me to do right now. Not just because I am holding down a full time job running a program at Woodward Camp and working on publishing a book but because to be honest, I am scared. Scared of putting this finished project out there and feeling vulnerable. Scared of being criticized, stripped down and being told it's not good enough (all common fears of most artists). All in all the reality of the intensity and magnitude of this book is starting to reveal itself. Love, admiration, approval and even self-doubt are common themes not just amongst artist's but people in general. We as a human race are hard wired to look for, want and need acknowledgement, compassion, and occasionally a pat on the back giving us a boast in courage/ego. This is not to say I haven't had a ton of support from my family, friends and fellow artists. Sometimes, we all just need a little extra kick in the butt to feel that we belong in the bigger picture of things.As an artist, I sometimes feel that when I am in the middle or nearing the end of an important project whether it be for a client or personal, that becoming so involved in what I am doing in front of me can make one feel overwhelmed and find it hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Most of the projects I take on are short term; a few images for a client here, a short photo essay for commericial work there. Nothing that puts my mindset or well being at too much risk. However, my book "Ashe in Wanderland" is different; it is in fact all about risk. As Ashe's adventure takes her to places searching for truth, love and a place to call "home", I too feel as if I am also searhcing for these answers. With the search for answers also comes risk. It is time for me to stop being scared, dig deep down tot that reserve tank of courage and to have this project go out a bang.Once again today is the day to release yet another teaser from my upcoming book "Ashe in Wanderland" The theme of this image is brought to you by Truth, Love and the Pursuit of Happiness. As Ashe lays on the ground the pain in her ribs is nothing compared to the pain in heart. She does not understand why Abbey would betray her in the time she needs her most.As Abbey walks away all she can think about is the moment when she can tell Ashe the truth. She mumbles to herself, "I am SO sorry Ashe. You have to trust me and know I'm trying to save you . I am doing this for us."
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