"We're all a little mad here."

So for the past few months I have been engaging my audience with a "working image" teaser from my book "Ashe in Wanderland" releasing November 13th, 2015. At this moment as I sit here writing, I am closely approaching many deadlines, finishing up final edits & working out all the post production/marketing details. Since I have been working diligently on each image for the final book, I have quite a few finished pieces to choose from for what would be this weeks teaser. However, as I stared at my wall filled with mock up 8x10 prints for final review, I came to the conclusion that instead of indulging you in just one teaser I would switch it up a bit this week & give you a broader peek into my process. Thus, an image that captures my creative process in the making.
Late nights, scribbled up legal pads, multiple alternate Photoshop CS6/Lightroom mock ups & tons of coffee. To me an image of my process in some ways is even more personal than the images themselves. Throughtout the last 2 years in making this book I have kept the story, images & work itself close to my chest; reveailing only bits & pieces to even my closes friends/family. As an artist I have always struggled in the confidence to share my work & revel in the achievements of the finished project. It is not to say I am not proud of my work nor humbled by all the opportunities I have been given. I have just always been alittle bit afraid of the end result. By that I mean when I finish a project whether it be personal, professional or otherwise there is always a moment in my mind & heart that pauses thinking "could this be it? Have I finally made my best work? What can come next?" These questions & more have definetly kept me up many nights.
This book from the start has been a blessing & a curse. It has been my most memorable project to date. I know that in my heart the end product will be what I dreamed of & more. Yet, to me personally in a weird almost sadistic kind of way I am going to miss the process the most. Each step I take towards the final piece whether it be tragic or triumphant, in my mind is a great accomplishment. It is a puzzle to solve, a moment to capture, memory to share & tale to tell. This is why I create art; why I am so passionate to live the life I lead. This is why i can not be anything other than a photographer/artist for work & for my own sanity. Without these experiences like "Alice in Wonderland" I would go mad.
I would be living without a purpose, or a place to fit in this world. I leave you with words of inspiration from an artist who's mentored me through many processes leading to my current state of mind. "The creative process is a process of surrender, not control."-Julia Cameron (artist/author of "The Creative Way").