Life is ever changing this we know. Whether good or bad; easy or hard the best way to approach these challenges is with an open mind and a go get em' spirit. These past two months have been challenging to say the least. Mother nature has been as moody with her ups and downs as I have about my current location, job and future plans. But that is life. Without taking on new unknown places, facing fears about leaving the comforts of "home" and a steady pay check one would not see all the other beautiful and exciting things, places and people waiting to be explored. I myself even get caught up sometimes in the familiar, wanting only the comforts of "home". Yet, then again what is "home"? Where do we define such a place? Is it the spot in which are family resides or where are friends gather to celebrate life and mourn the old? Is it a person whom we can go to in the middle of the night for a hug or hold close while conversing about our pain, confusion and complacency at 4am? Honestly, to me it is all these things and more. From someone who has spent most of her life (at least as an adult) chasing a dream career and wandering, hoping to find that place that feels like "home" only to realize that place may not lie amongst four walls and a steady paycheck but instead deep inside my own space and head a certain sense of reality is hitting hard.I may not be the best blogger nor a consistent one at that, yet what I am is someone who is human; someone who feels emotion, passion and strives to make myself and my world better everyday. And for this sometimes I need an outlet to express my fears, hopes, dreams and excitement for the places, people and projects that surround me as an artist. Thus, my blog is in a way a form of "home". It is a comfortable place to lay my head, share my thoughts and interact with others around me. It gives me a sense of peace; joy and pride to pass on knowledge, learn from my mistakes and prosper.The same feelings can be said to reside in my art. Whether it be commercial photography work, personal mixed media projects or even something as simple as a doodle on a napkin at a bar at one am. The feelings inside my heart; the inner peace I feel at the end of the day, hour or even minute after I have accomplished a piece makes me feel more complete than staring out any window of a place I have once lived.With these recent revelations comes many attached emotions, excitement, calm, anger and fear. Yet, for the first time in quite a few months I once again feel alive and well. Being a new year most people set out to accomplish "resolutions" and sadly most people fail. To me, I was never one for setting up "resolutions" based on a calendar date or someone else's perception of me or my career instead usually I would just wait until the time felt right for a change to put forth new goals or ideas in motion. Well, the time is now. My gut is telling me to take all of the recent unhappiness personal and professional and shove it right out my current "home" window into the icy cold snowbank below. It is time to organize a plan, hypothetically gather my belongs (sadly I am in a lease until May)and push forward in a direction that will lead me to my next path on the way to a new "home". Whether that be back in New York, living in a tent, a van down by the river, an apartment in Los Angeles or friends couches for a time. No matter the outcome, I have faith that following my true passion, and striving to better myself, photography and my career is going to eventually lead me to where I need to be. And that will truly be my "home".
"Taking me places I have never been before. Yet, always making me feel like home."
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