Starting over and continuing on...

Just when you think all the stars are aligning and some good is to come out of the intense amount of crap you may have had to deal with recently life once again throws you a curve ball. So what do you do? Do you freak out, start screaming and yelling at the universe cursing all the little things that are actually good in this life? Or do you take a step back, look at the big picture and breathe. Lucky for me I have a great support system in my personal and professional life to be able to even have option A and B. As the years pass and I try to better myself, grow and understand the ups and downs of this rollercoaster I am a part of, I am grateful that I can step back and see the bigger picture.
The world as we know it is changing, yet somethings never will. Through all the troubling times, tough decisions and small yet significant triumphs these past few weeks, one thing has remained the same; true friendships and the passion to take each day to strive better to improve not only myself, my art/career but also to contribute to the the world and people around me.
The last forty eight hours have been a game changer for me. The details are insignificant, but what is important is the underlying message behind the events that occurred. For me personally, one of my biggest fears in life is complacency. After dealing with some pretty intense events recently it only re-instilled in me the strength and confidence that I can and will accomplish my goals no matter what anyone says or tries to do to stop me. I need to step back refocus and drive forward to find the things that make me happy even if those things don't necessarily line up with certain people or jobs I may have come across. When life gives you blatant signs that you need to reevaluate the situation it is best to stop and listen, even if it may hurt more than you think you can bare at that moment. Thus, through all these emotions, trials and tribulations I am grateful to always have my family, amazing friends and art to pull me through. Without an outlet to express frustration, anger, fear and sadness I would be lost, drowning in my own thoughts and emotions.
As a release to current events and circumstances I have found an outlet to which give my all, and to put hope back into my daily life. At this moment I am in the early stages of creating and mapping out a proposal to Adobe's Creative Residency for 2017. With this project I will take on someone of the universal feelings, desires and fears I have encountered over the past 3 months here in Steamboat Springs Colorado. The theme of my proposal is "What is home?" Upon taking on this idea I am hoping to tie my budget and proposal into a handful of personal projects that I have been mapping out over the past several months.
To me applying for this residency is exactly what I need to focus, reevaluate and come to terms with what I want/need to push myself/career to the next level. Not to say this is the only thing driving me forward but it is a great jumping off point to once again taking myself out of my comfort zone and seeing what happens. The last time I took on a task like this was 2013 when i began the journey that took me all over the country to create my first published book "Ashe in Wanderland" I believe that this is just another stepping stone in completing my life's goals as an artist. Whether I get the residency for this project or have to figure it out as I go on my own, the burning need and desire I feel in my gut at this moment is a true eye opener and inspiration. I can't disregard these feelings anymore. My mother always said " Everything happens for a reason" at this moment I couldn't agree more.
"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."-Ralph Waldo Emerson